Personal Essay, Retaking my SAT, and September ACT (College Chat #1)

Before you read the rest of this, I’m thinking about giving this college thing I write about a name. I’m really liking this whole series thing. How do you feel about college chats? I don’t know, I like it

I’m probably jumping the gun here…

Correction: I am most definitely jumping the gun.

I often find myself worrying about college. It’s just who I am. I get in these moods. I worry. I panic. I do research. I give up. I inform.

I’m in the last stage.

Seeing as I did all this research I figured I might as well inform you of what I found out about personal essays and my probable topic, as well as tell you how I am preparing for my second SAT and first ACT.

I didn’t get into this crazy panic mode for no reason. I got an email about my summer english assignment which is just to write my personal essay/college essay. I wasn’t going to worry or even think about it until the end of august so avoid giving myself time to second guess it, but too late. I convinced myself that I needed to just look at the topics and get an idea on what I want to write, and now here I am with a pretty clear idea.

Don’t worry though, I’m not starting…


In reality, it would be dumb of me to even think about beginning to write it. You really shouldn’t write it this soon. From what I’ve read and watched on youtube, we shouldn’t start before the end of summer. It’s understandable to start the last week or two before senior year to avoid overloading yourself and giving yourself time to have it read by other people.

I don’t think I’m going to do that though.

Granted, I have to do it for a grade, but I’m not making major changes. My essay should reflect me and how I speak. Obviously I want it to be clear and understandable, but I want to avoid changing anything that isn’t grammar or clarity. Even so, if I write like I do here, with the fragments and odd spacing, I probably won’t change that.

It’s me. It’s how I write. It clearly represents how thoughts flow through my head and onto the screen before I can even finish them.

I want these schools to see me for how I am and what I do.

Which brings me to the topics.

The topics technically aren’t available for the application yet, but they have been announced. 

  1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. [No change]
  2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? [Revised]
  3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? [Revised]
  4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. [No change]
  5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. [Revised]
  6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? [New]
  7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. [New]

I will probably go with 6 or 7 depending on whether or no I can answer the “what or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?” part.

I am going to write about this. About writing. About you guys. My passion for blogging and books and run-on sentences.

Now it makes more sense as to why I don’t want to change my essay much after the first time I write it. I want it to resemble my blog. How I would write for anything besides a school assignment. I want it to be a written version of me.

For me, writing is something that will always be there. I want to write for a living. I want to be a novelist or author if possible. I want to write books and impact lives like books have impacted mine. I want to mean something. I want to make a difference and educate people like I have been educated.

And it all starts here for me. It starts with book reviews/rants. It starts with the run-on sentences and short stories and poems and random life experiences. It all starts with The One With Books. My home. My safe space.

I’m not even sure if at this point if you guys still read or care, but I do. And that means something.

That’s what I want to show the admissions people. That’s what you should should aim to do. Think outside of the box. Show the admissions people who you are

That and sat/act scores.

As you probably know I took the SAT in march and got an 1180. It’s fine and will do for most schools accompanied by my GPA and extracurriculars.

But I’m annoying and want atleast a 1300 so I’m taking it again in August as well as taking the ACT in September. It can’t hurt to take both.

Since it’s summer I’ll actually have time to practice. I will be using Ready4 apps (the SAT and ACT versions) as well as doing random practice tests I find online because I am not paying for an SAT book. It’s way too expensive and honestly, probably not worth it after I take it in August unless I do worse, in which case I’ll go to community college and get a business degree and work in an office or something. I’ll be a boring person compared to who I am now.

But I’m not going to do worse. I’m going to drastically improve. The Ready4SAT app was helpful the first time I took the SAT but I didn’t get much time to use it because of school and work.

This is my current mentality:

-Your college essay is going to be bomb.

-You’re going to kill it on your SAT/ACT

-Stop worrying, it’s June. You have like 3 months to figure it out. Enjoy summer.

Honestly guys, we’ll all be fine.

Happy Sunday guys 🙂


Senior Portraits and the end of the year

Today it hit me. I’m in my final few weeks of my junior year of high school, and what do I really have to show for it beside the evolution of my outfits and my slightly above average grades and GPA.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed most of high school and have lived nearly every aspirable (yes I know that’s not a word) moment that most high schoolers dream of besides the partying, I’ve never even been invited to a party, never mind gone to one. Like birthday parties yea, but not party parties that people have on Friday nights where they drink and get high. I never really wanted that anyway. But to be invited would be nice.

My high school checklist was/is as follows:

-Get a job and save money (check)

-Get good grades (so far so good)

-Make some new friends (Love you guys)

-Get a boyfriend (Love you Ant)

-Drive (working on it #stayofftheroadsfeb2018)

-Do fun summer stuff (hopefully this summer)

-Go to prom (T minus 7 days)

-Have fun (Thankfully I learned what that was this year)


Those are just some things that I really wanted, or were happy once receiving. They’re just like the typical good kid high school experiences.  And that’s all I could really ask for or want.

But now here I am, 3 weeks away from finishing junior year. I took my senior portraits. I’m looking at colleges. I saving money. Like this is all becoming so real, and I don’t think I’m ready.

I’m not ready to go to college. I’m not ready to provide for myself. To have to fix things on my own. Pay bills. Get an adult job. I’m just not ready yet.

I like being in high school because everything is pretty much handed to you. The work is little tough at times, but its manageable. You have a set schedule and parents making sure you go to school on time and do your homework and keep your grades up.

I’m not ready to grow up, and I’m not even graduating yet.

I can’t wait to see what senior year has in store for me.

Happy Thursday guys 🙂

My SAT score and why I probably won’t get into BU

I woke up Thursday Morning excited to see how well I did. I didn’t expect 1500, but I was thinking maybe at least a 1300. Let me tell you, I was terribly disappointed, well underwhelmed really. I was angry, and I kinda cried because I knew what my score meant. No BU.

I got 1180. That’s it. And I got a 17/24 on my essay which I’m proud of.

Before I say anything else, I know I can take my SAT again, and I will when I’m ready. Probably in August so I have July to seriously prepare.

I don’t want to go into college applications in a few months expecting to be rejected from Boston University, but I also don’t want to be expecting to get into their honors program. I’m honestly expecting to be waitlisted, which isn’t terrible, it’s just not ideal. My dream is BU. That could be temporary because I’m indecisive, but right now that’s what I want. I want to study English at BU in cold Boston.

I have a 3.9 GPA, so my SAT score doesn’t really reflect who I am as a student, which sucks, but what can I do. I’ll take it again and hope for the best.

I just want 1300, and I’m going to have to work hard to get there.

Happy Monday 🙂

Farewell Mr. Frangipane

I am currently taking marine bio. My actual teacher is on maternity leave, so we had Mr. Fang for about 2 months. He was honestly the best teacher.

The problem is that he lives super far, and it was only a temporary position, so getting a possibly permanent job nearer where he and his wife lives is only a smart career move.

So, here’s to you Mr. Frang. We had an awesome few months, and I was obviously your favorite. I wish you well at your new job. I’m sure your students will love you as much as we do.

Though I am not graduating this year, I hope you will come next year to my graduation (don’t worry, I’ll remind you).

Honestly though, thank you for being such an amazing teacher and looking out for all of us. Good luck at your new school.

Expect to hear from me in the future.

Happy Friday 🙂

Let’s talk…about college and life I guess

I should probably be doing my vocab, or at the very least my physics, but I don’t feel like it. I feel like talking. I’m in a babble mood.

I have spring break soon, so I’m super excited for that. I’m probably going to take off work that week and I want to visit colleges, but I’m not sure about that yet. A few weeks ago I had a bunch of colleges in mind, but now I’m obsessed with Boston University.

It’s not good to have a dream school because it puts too much pressure on you to fit into what that school wants, but it’s way too hard not to have a dream school. By all means, have a dream school, but don’t let that mold your high school career. Do what you want in high school, don’t feel like you need to join every club, get a perfect SAT score, and be the top of your class because of a school. It’s not worth stretching yourself out like that. There are plenty of universities that would be lucky to have you.

That being said, I’m taking a 3rd year of Spanish, and honors pre-calc, and AP stats next year because it looks better on college applications.

I get my SAT scores soon so that’s exciting. Once I get those I can really weigh my chances of getting into different schools, but for now, I’m just going with the flow.

But back to BU, I absolutely love the school. The campus is so beautiful. I’m honestly in freaking love. And they have an amazing English program.

I ended up going to sleep last night. I am currently in math, but I already finished my project and handed in, plus my teacher just left us unattended.

Since there’s only two of us of the three there usually is, we pretty much have a free hour to ourselves. I’m just reading about BU and campus tours.

I live about 4 hours from Boston, so I can drive, take a train, or even fly. Of course if I go there, when I move in I’ll drive, but once I move in, I can fly home for $100 round trip.  For a college student that may be a lot, but by the same token, it’s not like I’m flying to Cali.

The only thing I don’t like about BU is that freshmen are required to dorm. For some that may be no problem, but I don’t like sharing a space, I’m used to my own space, my own order of organization, and my own peace and quiet.

I had this awesome idea to have a small studio apartment and it be all my own, but now I can’t do that.

Also, BU dorms are super tiny for freshman.

I need to talk to my counselor soon, and see what I need to do in the next yearish to prepare for college. What scholarships I qualify for. Stuff like that.

Anyways, the period is almost over.

Happy Thursday 🙂

That Time I Took the SAT and Didn’t Throw Up

I woke up at 6:15 this morning to ensure that I had enough time to shower, eat breakfast, and clear my mind. I had plenty of time to shower, but since I was so nervous, I had trouble clearing my mind and eating. From the time I woke up to the time I received my testing materials in my testing room I honestly thought I was going to throw up. My nerves were bouncing all over the place. I felt like I was going to do terrible. I just had to many things in my brain telling me that I couldn’t do it, but honestly it wasn’t that hard.

I had to be at my testing center by 7:45.  When you get there you’re probably going to sit in a general area with everyone else until they start checking IDs and testing tickets. This is where my first real problem arose. On Collegeboard, my testing ticket was fine. It matched my school ID and I was set. But, word to advice to anyone who’s taking the SAT: make sure that when you print your ticket that the picture is clear. You’ll likely be okay, but just in case. Some people actually got turned away from my testing center which is what scared me the most.

Once you get through the ID checking, you’ll likely receive a room number. Your room will again check your ID and test ticket. This is a common thing. If you leave or enter the room you must have your ID and test ticket checked.

My room had 20 people in it. Once we all were checked in the test giver person checked our calculators and offered pencils to those who needed. She also made sure all phones were off and in the front of the room. We had the option of putting our phones in the basket or in our bag in the front of the room. I just put mine in my basket.

Then it moves on to filling in your test information on the answer sheet. All the boring stuff that ensures you get the proper test results in a timely manner and that you’re taking the correct test, in my case SAT with Essay. That took about 15 minutes.

The first two section were english and the second two were math. Then the optional essay was the final sections. I got to the testing center at around 7:40 and left at 1:00, just to give you a rough idea on time, but I’ll go further into  the time per section in a second.

Like I said the first section was english. This was a 65 minute section with a lot of analyzing and honestly, some pretty boring excerpts/articles. I think I did fairly well on this section considering that’s usually what I have trouble with. I had about 20 minutes to spare so I took a small nap and had a dream about a squirrel, which my friend said is because one of the articles mentioned squirrels.

The second section was more grammar, paragraph structure, and definitions. That’s something I’m good at (because I read books), so again I found it fairly easy. This section was 35 minutes. I finished pretty much on time. I had only 5 minutes to spare.

Then was the first math section, no calculator. These Collegeboard crazies think that we can do 40 questions without a calculator in 25 minutes. I think not. Needless to say, I guessed on a lot of those questions.

After there was a 55 minute math section with calculator. It was more challenging, but having a calculator made it easier to check if my responses made sense.

And finally there’s the essay. You have 55 minutes to write an essay that answers the prompt. I like writing (obviously) so it wasn’t too hard.

I should get my scores back April 13, so I will let you guys know how I do. I am thinking I got higher than a 1200, but I’m not sure. I’m just confident. But then again, where does my confidence usually get me?

Happy Saturdays guys 🙂


Last Minute Cramming and a Fear of Failing

I have my SAT in less than 12 hours and I pretty much practiced until my head was pounding. Right now my projected score is 1130, but I didn’t do every topic, and I kinda started guessing after a while because I got tired.

I know that  I can certainly do better than 1130, but what if I can’t. What if I’m not as smart as everyone makes me out to be.

I don’t even know what I want to do with my life. I think I want to major in computer science. Or maybe English literature. I’ve always loved the idea of becoming an editor of a major publishing company. Or just at least working for one. I love books and writing in general, so I feel like working for a publishing company would be useful. I actually like that idea.

That’s my problem, though. I don’t know if I want to get a degree in computer science and work for NASA or get an English degree and work for a publishing company to work my way up to be an editor.

I’ll figure that out eventually. but for now I’ll just worry about my SAT. That’s all I need to worry about right now anyway.

Anyways, Happy Fridays guys 🙂

And I’ve returned…

I’m sure those of you who occasionally check up to see if there’s anything new anticipated me returning to my natural habitat, and you are right. I miss it. I miss spewing all of my ideas and not caring if someone’s going to read it or not.

My life has been pretty hectic this past year or so. I’m  taking my first SAT on saturday which is fun, but scary at the same time. I have a really awesome job that supports my impulse buying. I have my prom in June, and an amazing dress and date. I’m seriously looking into colleges and scholarships and grants and financial aid. Which brings me to the reason I’m back.

Besides me missing writing and expressing my thoughts, I want to document my next year and a few months since I have college applications and acceptance letters and college tours coming up. I want it not only to be here for me to look back on, but also so that other people can look to it when they’re doing college applications. I was trying to find a blog, but I had little success. I’m also just really bad at finding things.

Anywho, I guess I can give you a current life update. I have above an 85 in all of my classes, including AP Physics and Pre-Calc Honors. I’m co editor of my school newspaper. My boyfriend asked me to prom in front of the whole school at a pep rally. I have two jobs, one as a tutor, and the other as a kinda tutor thing grader person at my “real” government taking out taxes even though I’m only 16 job. I got glasses. And I pretty much broke my habits of biting my nails and oversleeping. Also, I’m writing my research/term paper on the importance of LGBT inclusive Young Adult literature in shaping teen lives.

Thank you for coming back if you did. And welcome if you’re new. I’m going to get back into the swing of things, maybe even try #100daysofhappiness since I’ve seen that on social media and love the idea. I’m not going to commit to that yet though.

Alrighty, happy Wednesday guys 🙂

I hate losing

So, as I mentioned in a previous post, I wasn’t sure if I was going to share my short story, and all though I didn’t win, a friend of mine did and I’m happy for her. Even though I am super upset about losing, I know I’m a good writer and that’s all that matters. Anyway, enough with the rant, here’s Silent Desire.



There she is. This beautiful person whom I’d only seen a few times before. I looked at her trying to avoid making eye contact. Someone like me could never be with her. She is everything someone could want in a girl. I am in love with a girl who doesn’t even know I exist. That’s the problem. I am in love with a girl who wouldn’t ever be seen with a guy like me. I’m a walking encyclopedia. She is just generally smart, and I surely have no chance. If only Lux knew who I was.


It is the first day of school. I saw him again. He hasn’t seemed to notice me, but why would he. I’m the awkward girl with no friends. I keep to myself. I wouldn’t ever interfere with him. If only Micha knew how much I adored him, then surely, things would be different. Who am I kidding, we will graduate in nine months without having said a single word to each other for four years. That’s insane, how could I possibly love someone as much as I love him without even knowing who he is?




She’s in my science class. This is the first time I’ve had a class with her. Of course I’ve liked other girls, but ever since I saw her freshman year in that emerald green sweater, light washed denim jeans, and high-top black converse that were laced one hole down from the top, I knew she was the girl I wanted. I realized I wanted her even more when she walked up to me.

“Hello,” she said to me.

At this point I am convinced she doesn’t even know I exist. I don’t even realize she is talking to me until I noticed we are the only one’s in the room with the exception of our teacher.

“Hi. Lux, right?”

I replied a few seconds away from awkward. By this time, people began to enter the room. We were no longer alone. The truth is, I know her name, I just don’t want to freak her out.

“Yea, that’s me. The nerd with no friends.”

How could someone so painfully beautiful not have any friends? How could she even declare herself a nerd? She was smart and beautiful, a beautiful nerd.

A moment too soon, the bell rang. I had ruined my one chance of speaking to her.


How could I do that? Micha doesn’t even know my name. I’ve made such a fool of myself. I know that it was a risky move speaking to him. I couldn’t stop glancing at his tall build and glasses. The same glasses he’d worn for three years. The same glasses I had come to know. I knew every inch of his face, like the back of my hand. Yet, all I could manage to say was a bland ‘hello.’



Class was drawing to a close. It had been nine months since our first and last encounter. I have always wondered why she never spoke to me again. As if I were some contagious disease that she didn’t want to catch. I get it though. I’m not exactly the prettiest color in the crayon box. I’m the color you use when the color you want is missing, a second choice of sorts. Lux, on the other hand, she is the crayon you always grab for without a doubt. Another reason I was in love with her, the fifth reason I loved her. She is the definition of perfect.

It is the last day of school. In a few hours we all graduate, and it is very likely that I’ll never see Lux again. I have had this reoccurring dream that she has spoken to me, and we are friends and that everything is perfect, but I know that that couldn’t ever happen.

We are sitting in our last science class together and I feel the urge to speak to her. Discuss all of the science related things that we have learned in our nine short months together. Lux is the most amazing person I had ever met in my life. I have grown even fonder of her since sharing a class with her. Hearing her answer every question correctly. That is the girl of my dreams. But purely of my dreams because I can’t even manage to say a simple ‘hello’ to her.


I plan to talk to Micha at graduation, but possibly before. I want to talk to him simply because he hasn’t said anything to me since that first conversation. Overall, science was a great class. While I hoped that it would mean getting to know Micha rather than simply knowing of him, I only got to know that atoms are the smallest constituent unit of ordinary matter that has the properties of a chemical element.



We are getting ready to walk at graduation, this is my last chance to do anything. I could simply pretend that I haven’t had feelings for Lux all these years, but that’s not exactly what I want to do. I want to speak to her again and tell her exactly what I feel. Tell her how absolutely beautiful and smart she is. I wanted to tell her how lucky a guy like me would be to date someone as extraordinary as her, but I’m not that kind of person. I will, more likely than not, just pretend I never thought of being in a relationship with her that wasn’t strictly friendly and nothing more.


I have come to realize that I will never see Micha again, but I have thought this through over and over again, and I decided that I am going to hug him with no explanation, and pass it off as just saying goodbye to everyone, including him, even though we aren’t friends. I am nervous mainly because I have yet to think about what I have ahead of me, but I am trying to keep my mind set on saying goodbye for the sake of my sanity. I have spent enough time obsessing over this guy, whom I barely know, and I am finally ready to give that up. I have my whole life ahead of me to fall in love with people who actually know I exist, and while it may not seem like it, I know that I will find someone who I care about equally as much as I do Micha.



We walked at graduation, and now Lux is standing next to me. This time when she says ‘hello,’ I know that she is talking to me because we are the only ones in the science room, saying our final goodbyes to high school.

“Are you going to miss it here,” she asks breaking the stale, silent air that stands between us.

“I don’t think so,” I respond lying to myself. I won’t miss highschool, I’ll miss this science class, and more specifically this girl. I’ll miss her laugh and her stupid mistakes. The way she taps her pencil when she is thinking. All of the small things I have come to know about Lux are the things I will miss the most.  I will miss Lux Margos.


“Can I hug you goodbye,” I questioned. I didn’t want to be too forward. And, as I waited for his response, Micha turned to face me. I didn’t even realize it until it happened. Micha Traxler kissed me. My life flashed before me, and in a panic I raced out of the science room. I was in the hallway leading to the main door when Micha yelled for me to stop.

“Lux, I am so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have done that. But, I need to tell you something,” He starts. “Ever since I saw you that first day freshman year, in that beautiful green sweater, I knew that you were the person I wanted to be with. You are the most beautiful and most intelligent person I have ever met, and I think you deserve to know that.”

I want to tell him that I feel the same, but I am ready to move on. He is four years too late. I run towards him and embrace him in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry,” I began. “But, I am ready to let you go, let every thought I’ve ever had about you go. But, you are amazingly smart and sweet, and I think I’ve changed my mind. I had this whole plan to hug you goodbye and pretend that I never felt anything for you, but then you kissed me and I take that as a sign not to let go.”

“Don’t pretend Lux Margos. You won’t regret it.”



I finally have the girl of my dreams. Lux Margos, absolutely perfect.


Micha Traxler. The first and hopefully last person I will love.



So, that’s the story I didn’t win with. Wow, I’m such a sore loser. Happy Thanksgiving guys!

A Short Story.

I recently read a handful of short stories for English. Usually, I am not a huge fan of them due to their unrealistic features, but these ones really made me think.

One of the short stories we read was Contents of a Dead Man’s Pockets. It’s pretty much about this man who ends up stuck 11 stories high off his apartment ledge, all because of a piece of paper. The realistic thing to do would be to go to your neighbors and reach out their window to get it, but instead the guy climbs out his window, out onto the ledge, and attempts to get the paper.

Eventually the man ends up safe back in his apartment, and ironically enough, the paper flies back out the window, and the man just leaves and goes to find his wife. Now, none of this is important. I choose this one as the best of the four we read because it made me think the most. Not about what would happen if I were stuck 11 stories high, but what would happen if I were the one up there and fell. There would be no way to identify me.

I am the type of person who has random junk in their pockets. I looked in my winter jacket pockets, and I found some Jolly Ranchers, a glove, and some tissues. I rarely carry around my wallet or a purse, and I have no clue where my school id’s ever are. This man was talking about how he only had a piece of paper that had gotten him up their in the first place, and some matches. There were other things in his pocket, but I can’t remember them right now.

I’m not saying that I’m dying, but if I were to ever get stuck on a ledge and all I had were the contents in my pocket, I’d be absolutely screwed. Now, this isn’t even the message of the story, but this is how I interpreted it.

Anyways, have an amazing weekend. And, sorry for the double post, I just totally forgot about the other one in my drafts. Love Ya!



If I ever fall off a ledge and plummet to my death, there would only be Jolly Ranchers and a glove in my pocket.