I don’t want to go to college… (College Chats #5)

Well I do, but I don’t want to do the applying, getting in, deciding part. I just spend the last hour in tears because I feel so overwhelmed. I don’t know where I’m going or where I’m applying and I just want it to be done. I just want it to be over with.

I have absolutely no idea what I’m looking for. I don’t know what questions to ask. I just don’t get it. I don’t get the process. I don’t get the dumb essays that ask why I want to apply. I don’t want to do anything.

I was so excited now here I am in actual tears about applying to college.

Maybe I just won’t go.



My Senior Project.

As far as I’m concerned, my school does not do a senior project. I mean I’m happy that we don’t but at the same time I wish we did because it would be kind of fun in my opinion.

Anyway, yesterday I was cleaning up my room a little and watching YouTube videos (typical summer Savannah), and I got some inspiration. Recently I’ve had a fascination with bullet journals, but I lack the calligraphy and patience to ever be serious about it.

INSTEAD I’m going to document every single day of my senior year and my end goal is to have a journal full of doodles, rants, love notes, and anything that I think is important to my senior year that I will want to look back on.

It will essentially be a scrapbook with writings and drawings and random things. I’ll also document college things like days I finished applications and places I got accepted and rejected.

I’ll also HOPEFULLY be able to write random things in Latin since I’m taking a latin class online.

Will I do it all year? I hope so.

The only thing I haven’t figured out is how I’m sharing it. I’ll likely end up sharing just the best pages and spreads, but I’m not sure if I’ll do it all the day after graduation or random times throughout the year.

We shall see.

I will do most of the writing at home, but I have a 6th period study so I can do some things in school maybe. I’m not sure. I mean people know about my blog, but do I really want to be essentially scrapbooking? Not really.

Again, I’ll figure it out as I go. I’ll see what works and what doesn’t.

I’m honestly super excited to do this. I have a memory box, but senior year is important to me.

This is the year I decide if I’m leaving everything behind for Massachusetts or staying in the general area (NYC or Jersey).

This isn’t really a senior project, but it’s a project I’m doing my senior year.

That’s the same thing, right?

Happy Monday 🙂

*I somehow managed to write Saturday even though it’s Monday…*

Personal Essay, Retaking my SAT, and September ACT (College Chat #1)

Before you read the rest of this, I’m thinking about giving this college thing I write about a name. I’m really liking this whole series thing. How do you feel about college chats? I don’t know, I like it

I’m probably jumping the gun here…

Correction: I am most definitely jumping the gun.

I often find myself worrying about college. It’s just who I am. I get in these moods. I worry. I panic. I do research. I give up. I inform.

I’m in the last stage.

Seeing as I did all this research I figured I might as well inform you of what I found out about personal essays and my probable topic, as well as tell you how I am preparing for my second SAT and first ACT.

I didn’t get into this crazy panic mode for no reason. I got an email about my summer english assignment which is just to write my personal essay/college essay. I wasn’t going to worry or even think about it until the end of august so avoid giving myself time to second guess it, but too late. I convinced myself that I needed to just look at the topics and get an idea on what I want to write, and now here I am with a pretty clear idea.

Don’t worry though, I’m not starting…


In reality, it would be dumb of me to even think about beginning to write it. You really shouldn’t write it this soon. From what I’ve read and watched on youtube, we shouldn’t start before the end of summer. It’s understandable to start the last week or two before senior year to avoid overloading yourself and giving yourself time to have it read by other people.

I don’t think I’m going to do that though.

Granted, I have to do it for a grade, but I’m not making major changes. My essay should reflect me and how I speak. Obviously I want it to be clear and understandable, but I want to avoid changing anything that isn’t grammar or clarity. Even so, if I write like I do here, with the fragments and odd spacing, I probably won’t change that.

It’s me. It’s how I write. It clearly represents how thoughts flow through my head and onto the screen before I can even finish them.

I want these schools to see me for how I am and what I do.

Which brings me to the topics.

The topics technically aren’t available for the application yet, but they have been announced. 

  1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. [No change]
  2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? [Revised]
  3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? [Revised]
  4. Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. [No change]
  5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. [Revised]
  6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? [New]
  7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. [New]

I will probably go with 6 or 7 depending on whether or no I can answer the “what or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?” part.

I am going to write about this. About writing. About you guys. My passion for blogging and books and run-on sentences.

Now it makes more sense as to why I don’t want to change my essay much after the first time I write it. I want it to resemble my blog. How I would write for anything besides a school assignment. I want it to be a written version of me.

For me, writing is something that will always be there. I want to write for a living. I want to be a novelist or author if possible. I want to write books and impact lives like books have impacted mine. I want to mean something. I want to make a difference and educate people like I have been educated.

And it all starts here for me. It starts with book reviews/rants. It starts with the run-on sentences and short stories and poems and random life experiences. It all starts with The One With Books. My home. My safe space.

I’m not even sure if at this point if you guys still read or care, but I do. And that means something.

That’s what I want to show the admissions people. That’s what you should should aim to do. Think outside of the box. Show the admissions people who you are

That and sat/act scores.

As you probably know I took the SAT in march and got an 1180. It’s fine and will do for most schools accompanied by my GPA and extracurriculars.

But I’m annoying and want atleast a 1300 so I’m taking it again in August as well as taking the ACT in September. It can’t hurt to take both.

Since it’s summer I’ll actually have time to practice. I will be using Ready4 apps (the SAT and ACT versions) as well as doing random practice tests I find online because I am not paying for an SAT book. It’s way too expensive and honestly, probably not worth it after I take it in August unless I do worse, in which case I’ll go to community college and get a business degree and work in an office or something. I’ll be a boring person compared to who I am now.

But I’m not going to do worse. I’m going to drastically improve. The Ready4SAT app was helpful the first time I took the SAT but I didn’t get much time to use it because of school and work.

This is my current mentality:

-Your college essay is going to be bomb.

-You’re going to kill it on your SAT/ACT

-Stop worrying, it’s June. You have like 3 months to figure it out. Enjoy summer.

Honestly guys, we’ll all be fine.

Happy Sunday guys 🙂


Junior Prom

It’s not very often that we get to dress up and look fancy and slay everyone’s life, but I did yesterday.

June 1, 2017 was my junior prom. It all started here.


On December 23, 2016 my sweet love asked me to prom in front of the whole school during a pep rally. it was great. I was absolutely stunned and so excited.

Then, dress shopping began. I tried on 25+ dresses and eventually decided on this beauty.


This was some time in late January. I dreamt about how beautiful this dress was. How it was going to stun everyone. How shocked my love would be when he saw me the day of prom.

Then came the hair and makeup trial. I opted for an intricate braid and glowy makeup with bold brows and a peach lip.

And finally, there was yesterday.

I woke up nervous but excited.

I had so much fun before, during, and even after prom.

It couldn’t have gone any better.

I know it might be a lot to preach, but prom is fun. If you have the opportunity, you should go. You’ll enjoy it.

Happy Friday guys 🙂


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Senior Portraits and the end of the year

Today it hit me. I’m in my final few weeks of my junior year of high school, and what do I really have to show for it beside the evolution of my outfits and my slightly above average grades and GPA.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed most of high school and have lived nearly every aspirable (yes I know that’s not a word) moment that most high schoolers dream of besides the partying, I’ve never even been invited to a party, never mind gone to one. Like birthday parties yea, but not party parties that people have on Friday nights where they drink and get high. I never really wanted that anyway. But to be invited would be nice.

My high school checklist was/is as follows:

-Get a job and save money (check)

-Get good grades (so far so good)

-Make some new friends (Love you guys)

-Get a boyfriend (Love you Ant)

-Drive (working on it #stayofftheroadsfeb2018)

-Do fun summer stuff (hopefully this summer)

-Go to prom (T minus 7 days)

-Have fun (Thankfully I learned what that was this year)


Those are just some things that I really wanted, or were happy once receiving. They’re just like the typical good kid high school experiences.  And that’s all I could really ask for or want.

But now here I am, 3 weeks away from finishing junior year. I took my senior portraits. I’m looking at colleges. I saving money. Like this is all becoming so real, and I don’t think I’m ready.

I’m not ready to go to college. I’m not ready to provide for myself. To have to fix things on my own. Pay bills. Get an adult job. I’m just not ready yet.

I like being in high school because everything is pretty much handed to you. The work is little tough at times, but its manageable. You have a set schedule and parents making sure you go to school on time and do your homework and keep your grades up.

I’m not ready to grow up, and I’m not even graduating yet.

I can’t wait to see what senior year has in store for me.

Happy Thursday guys 🙂

Got Physics?

Every year the physics class takes a trip to Six Flags. Today was that day for me. I feel like I’ve waiting all of high school for this dumb field trip. 

I went on every ride though. It was amazing. Out of the 7 people in my group only 3 went on rides but that didn’t stop us. They were essentially the designated bag holders; (sorry guys). 

The only ride I wish I went on was Zumanjaro. But I’m also kinda happy I didn’t go on it, it’s crazy haha. 

I did some how convince my 2 friends to go on King da Ka and they hated me but agree that it was well worth it after the shock and hate dissipated. I thought it was fun. 

In other news, I just finished up a story, so I’m going to make a few changes and it’ll probably be up tomorrow or the next day. 

Anyways, sorry I was gone for two weeks, things got a little busy, but I’m good now. 

Happy Friday guys 🙂

Happy Spring Break!

Welp, at least I was only missing for a week, but I’ve been busy with school. I had my research paper and a short story and interview question and an article due for journalism. It was a little overwhelming, but now I’m relaxed.

Today was the start if my spring break. I had a half day today so I went to Panera for lunch, and now I am at my mom’s for the first half of spring break.

As I write this I am watching 13 Reasons Why on Netflix. I read the book about a year ago, and I’m not disappointed in the show, I just feel like there are too many differences between the two. I love the show. It’s great. The book will always just hold a deeper place in my heart.

I am by no means bashing the context of the show, I love that it’s bringing awareness to suicide and how much your words matter, I just think it could be executed better. If the show had stayed more true to the book, then my opinion would likely be different, but having the two with the same name, and the show being advertised as based off the book, I expected to be in love with it, not have mixed feelings.

Though I’m only on “Tape 5, Side A,” I have pretty much made up my mind. I will continue to watch and maybe my mind will change, but who knows.

Anywho, I’m getting tired so I’m gonna watch some youtube and probably go to bed.

Night guys, happy Friday 🙂

Trigonometric identities will be the death of me.

Usually I’m fairly decent at math. And I am finally doing way better in PreCalc but we started trig identities and it’s honestly the worst thing ever. 

It’s not that I don’t get it, I do, it’s just that once I understand it, it gets drastically more difficult. 

I’m sure I’ll eventually understand it fully, but until then wish me luck. 

Anyways, I was supposed to meet with my counselor to talk about college but he never called me down. I have a lot of questions about college and scholarships and such, but I’m gonna have to email him again. 

What can I expect though, last time I waited like 3 days after continuousy pestering him about seeing him. 

Currently, I’m obsessed with a few old favorites in terms of music. I’ve been listening to Nine in the Afternoon and Chop Suey a lot. 

Also, there’s this new game called Death Stranding coming out. Not only is there virtually no information about this game, but it’s from video game designer Hideo Kojima, who, let me tell you, is an amazing game designer. 

Death Stranding is his first solo project, but there’s pretty much, like I said no information. There is two trailers which make little to no sense, but boy does it look interesting. I am dying to play when it comes out. The only thing I’m kinda sure of is that it’ll be on PS4 but then again that’s because Kojima has a partnership with Sony and all of the Metal Gear games are on PS. 

Anywho, I’m super excited for that game, whenever it does come out. Probably more excited than I was for Uncharted 4, and Uncharted is legitimately my favorite game series aside from maybe god of war, though I haven’t played that in a hot minute. 

Welp that’s all I have to blabber about, happy Wednesday 🙂 

Farewell Mr. Frangipane

I am currently taking marine bio. My actual teacher is on maternity leave, so we had Mr. Fang for about 2 months. He was honestly the best teacher.

The problem is that he lives super far, and it was only a temporary position, so getting a possibly permanent job nearer where he and his wife lives is only a smart career move.

So, here’s to you Mr. Frang. We had an awesome few months, and I was obviously your favorite. I wish you well at your new job. I’m sure your students will love you as much as we do.

Though I am not graduating this year, I hope you will come next year to my graduation (don’t worry, I’ll remind you).

Honestly though, thank you for being such an amazing teacher and looking out for all of us. Good luck at your new school.

Expect to hear from me in the future.

Happy Friday 🙂

Let’s talk…about college and life I guess

I should probably be doing my vocab, or at the very least my physics, but I don’t feel like it. I feel like talking. I’m in a babble mood.

I have spring break soon, so I’m super excited for that. I’m probably going to take off work that week and I want to visit colleges, but I’m not sure about that yet. A few weeks ago I had a bunch of colleges in mind, but now I’m obsessed with Boston University.

It’s not good to have a dream school because it puts too much pressure on you to fit into what that school wants, but it’s way too hard not to have a dream school. By all means, have a dream school, but don’t let that mold your high school career. Do what you want in high school, don’t feel like you need to join every club, get a perfect SAT score, and be the top of your class because of a school. It’s not worth stretching yourself out like that. There are plenty of universities that would be lucky to have you.

That being said, I’m taking a 3rd year of Spanish, and honors pre-calc, and AP stats next year because it looks better on college applications.

I get my SAT scores soon so that’s exciting. Once I get those I can really weigh my chances of getting into different schools, but for now, I’m just going with the flow.

But back to BU, I absolutely love the school. The campus is so beautiful. I’m honestly in freaking love. And they have an amazing English program.

I ended up going to sleep last night. I am currently in math, but I already finished my project and handed in, plus my teacher just left us unattended.

Since there’s only two of us of the three there usually is, we pretty much have a free hour to ourselves. I’m just reading about BU and campus tours.

I live about 4 hours from Boston, so I can drive, take a train, or even fly. Of course if I go there, when I move in I’ll drive, but once I move in, I can fly home for $100 round trip.  For a college student that may be a lot, but by the same token, it’s not like I’m flying to Cali.

The only thing I don’t like about BU is that freshmen are required to dorm. For some that may be no problem, but I don’t like sharing a space, I’m used to my own space, my own order of organization, and my own peace and quiet.

I had this awesome idea to have a small studio apartment and it be all my own, but now I can’t do that.

Also, BU dorms are super tiny for freshman.

I need to talk to my counselor soon, and see what I need to do in the next yearish to prepare for college. What scholarships I qualify for. Stuff like that.

Anyways, the period is almost over.

Happy Thursday 🙂