What Am I Becoming???

As you know, I’m on summer vacation, and I’ve taken this time to swim, sleep in, and clean my room. To me, sleeping in is like 9 or 10 am, but for the past two days I’ve been waking up at noon. WHAT?!?! I haven’t slept this long in forever. I’m not complaining though, I love sleeping.

In other news, I went to the dentist on Wednesday, and I am petrified of the dentist for reasons I can’t even explain. Anyway, the dentist pretty much said I was lazy when I brush my teeth because I brush for like 45 seconds and you’re supposed to brush for like 5 minutes. I’ve upped my time to like 2 minutes, but 5 is a lot. He also said my wisdom teeth are coming in. FUN! No seriously, I started laughing and pacing because that’s what I do when I panic. I have many panic coping mechanisms but I usually just laugh. I’m weird, don’t judge.

Well, when you stay home for two weeks, nothing interesting happens, so that’s all I have for you. I’m about half way through Tuesdays with Morrie and it’s so good. I actually like it. Wow a miracle. I usually hate non-fiction, with the exception of The Cage which I really liked also.

Okay for real this time, that’s all. Happy Friday!

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Happy.

Hi.

I’m happy.

At least I think I am. I don’t think I know what it’s like not to be happy. I like to think that though I’ve had my fair share of problems, I’ve lead a pretty good life. But how much of a life can you live in 15 short years? How much suffering can you really go through? How much hate can you really experience? The answer? A lot. But, I’m happy.

As you know, I just finished my first year of high school. I took this year as a year to find myself and see who I truly was and who I wanted to be. I realized who my true friends were. I found new hobbies and made new friends. I even made 2 best friends. And before I hear that you can’t have more than one best friend, I can have as many best friends as I want. I actually have 3. One for almost 11 years in fact. I don’t know if they were aware that I was on a journey to find myself, I mean they are now, but I don’t know if they were beforehand. All they care about is that I’m happy.

One this journey I discovered 5 important things:

  • I’m beautiful: So what if I wear yoga pants and sweatshirts for a week straight then wear skirts and dresses the next. Nothing defines my beauty. I’m a human being, and just living and smiling is beautiful. I don’t need make up or designer clothes or picture perfect hair. Being me is all I need to be beautiful. Cute, pretty, gorgeous, sexy, that’s not beautiful. I’m beautiful. I also have a nice butt, but that’s beside the point haha.
  • I’m smarter than I thought: I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I know I’m smart, I just realized that without life weighing me down, I’m smarter than I thought. I don’t mean like genius smart, but like I can actually understand things if I pay attention smart. I didn’t get terrific grades this year, 5 A’s and 3 B’s, but this is the hardest I’ve tried in school in a long time. I actually was challenged. But my hard work payed off because with the exception of English, again, I’m taking all AP classes next year. Yay!
  • Numbers mean nothing: Whether it be number of friends or test scores, numbers mean nothing. My test scores have fluctuated up and down all year, and if I were to give you an average, you would wonder how my report card marks were so high. My friend group has gotten so much smaller. I went from having friends in every class to having like one friend in every class if I was lucky. Truthfully, this was better. I mean I knew everyone in my classes, and we all talked, and we all have each other’s phone numbers, but we aren’t friends that hang out, we’re friends that text each other when they need to know homework, or what they missed in class. I prefer having a small number of real friends compared to a large number of acquaintances that I called friends.
  • I’m the worst procrastinator ever: I thought that I pushed things to last minute because I had friends and thought that I had better things to do and literally bull shitted my way through middle school, but even having like no friends this year, I still waited until last minute, I just actually did research. Even doing simple things like cleaning my room and emptying the dishwasher, I just pushed it off.
  • It’s okay to be me: For the longest time, I thought that I had to fit this cookie cutter image to have friends and to be liked. That’s not true. I became myself, and that’s when I realized who my friends really were. My friends didn’t mind my sudden outbursts or my awkward nature. They loved me, not the person I was trying to be. On top of finding out who my true friends were, I made friends that liked me for who I am. If you’ve read some of my other posts, you know that I’m sort of self-conscious. That was one of the things I tried to fix this year. I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin. I wanted to be happy with who I have become. Did I reach that goal? Not quite, but I came pretty damn close. Little things can get me down, but I have friends and summer to help me fix that. I love me, and I’m not going to be anyone else.

High school can be a difficult time, but it’s a chance to discover who you truly are. Be you. Oscar Wilde said, “Be you, everyone else is already taken”, and I never truly listened to that because I wanted to not necessarily to be popular, but to have a lot of friends. That isn’t how you make friends. as cliché as the quote seems, its helped me a lot. I am truly happy.

Happy Father’s Day to All of You Under Appreciated Fathers… and the Regular Ones Too

Happy father’s day, in the unlikely event that there is a father reading my blog (Hi dad)! Today I was listening to the radio and there was mention that fathers don’t get as much gifts and are less appreciated on father’s day, than mothers on mother’s day. Now I’m not going to lie, I’m a girl so I get along better with my mom, which apparently is odd since teenage girls don’t get along with their moms or something to that affect, but my dad gets just as much on father’s day as my mom on mother’s day. I get that this probably isn’t the case in all families, but like they’re both responsible for bringing you into this world, they deserve the same love. Unless of course you have a good reason to not give the same. If it were up to me, there would just be a parent’s day. Actually, I think there is a parent’s day, on top of mother’s and father’s day. Like congrats on birthing me, but you don’t both need two days of appreciation. I appreciate you both all you round.

Anyway, I’m tired. I don’t get why. I have not done anything these past 4 days. I’ve only left the house 3 times. Friday for the party, yesterday to go food shopping, and today for father’s day brunch. I need friends. Well, my friends need to just get out of school (I’m talking to you “Arcie”). Until then, I will spend my time on Pinterest making promises I probably can’t keep. Speaking of promises I probably can’t keep, I was on Pinterest and I saw the best thing ever. The original challenge is a 30 day thing, and while I’d love to try it, I feel like I won’t keep the challenge up. If I keep it up, then I will definitely post it, but if not then this isn’t a promise.

So, that’s really all, my life is boring, so I’ll be posting a lot more frequently. I literally have nothing to do. Happy father’s day and happy Sunday.

Happy Summer to me, Happy Friday to You

Happy Friday everyone! I’ve been out of school since Wednesday, and I was gonna write yesterday but the first day of summer vacation to me is doing virtually nothing. So that’s what I did. I lied on my couch and did nothing. It was a nice day to say the least. Today is Friday. Pretty much all of my friends are out of school, so one of my close friends is throwing a pool party! Look at me doing something that’s outdoors. You have no idea how accomplished I feel for not being inside all day. I HAVE FRIENDS!! Haha. I sound insane.

So my school is so fantastic. Just kidding! Since I’m taking English 10 CP, I have to read Tuesdays with Morrie and write an essay about three things Mitch Albom learned and three things I learned. I started reading it already, and it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I was expecting something boring, but it’s not terrible… yet.

I also have to read another book. I’m taking APUSH 1 next year, so I have to pick a book off this list:

Summer Reading Lists

APUSH 1

McCullough, John Adams, 1776

Madison, Hamilton and Jay, The Federalist Papers

Brookheiser, Alexander Hamilton

Wills, A Necessary Evil

Fenn, Pox Americana Ambrose, Undaunted Courage Sale, Conquest of Paradise

Donald, Lincoln

Kearns Goodwin, Team of Rivals Maier, American Scripture Thoreau, Walden, Cape Cod, The Maine Woods

Stowe, Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Hawthorne, House of the Seven Gables

Cooper, Last of the Mohicans

Twain, An Innocent Abroad, Huckleberry Finn

Washington, Up From Slavery

Dahl, How Democratic is the United States Constitution?

Brands, The First American, Andrew Jackson

Riis, How the Other Half Lives

Vowell, The Wordy Shipmates

I haven’t chosen one yet, but I don’t exactly want to either. I don’t like history I’m just sorta good at it.

Along with reading one of these books, I have to write an essay I don’t remember the prompt but I do know that it has to be 7-10 pages. Oh joy. And they say high school is the best years of your life. I’d like to meet whoever made that a thing and have him/her do all my work to the fullest potential.

Well, its summer. I’m gonna read more books and get tan. Happy Friday!